We often think it's our actions that hold us back—procrastinating on that project, avoiding tough conversations, or feeling stuck in our personal growth. But here's the real kicker: it’s not just the action itself that’s the problem. It’s the emotion and belief driving that action.
We often think it's our actions that hold us back—procrastinating on that project, avoiding tough conversations, or feeling stuck in our personal growth. But here's the real kicker: it’s not just the action itself that’s the problem. It’s the emotion and belief driving that action. For example, when you put off that big project, it’s not laziness—it’s the fear of getting it wrong. When you hesitate to open up in a relationship, it’s not because you don’t care, but because you’re scared of getting hurt.
In this post, we’re going to explore how the stories we tell ourselves shape everything, from our thoughts to our emotions and actions. And we’ll look at how you can start rewriting those stories to create real change.
Think about the last time you had a stressful day. You get home, and suddenly everything bothers you—the dishes aren’t done, your partner’s chewing is too loud, and the driver in front of you seems to be the worst one on the planet. When you’re in a bad emotional state, everything feels magnified.
This happens because our emotions shape how we see the world. Your thoughts are like the surface of a lake, and your emotions are the currents beneath, constantly influencing how those thoughts move and flow. So, when we focus only on changing our thoughts—like so much self-help advice suggests—we’re missing the real driver underneath: our emotions and the core stories we carry.
This is where things get interesting. Imagine if instead of battling your thoughts, you dug deeper to uncover the story beneath them. That’s where real change happens. And this is what we’re working on with our app, Uoma—a tool to help you navigate through those deeper layers of your emotional and mental landscape. It’s not quite ready yet, but we’re gearing up to launch a small beta soon for an exclusive group to test it out.
We all have core stories—beliefs we’ve carried for years that shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world. These core stories often start early in life, but they can stick around long after they stop being useful.
Let me give you a personal example. When I was a kid, I had a bad experience in public speaking. I was called to the front of the room to present something, and I completely froze. Everyone laughed, and from that moment on, I told myself, "I’m bad at being in front of people." That one experience became a core story, and for years, I avoided anything to do with presenting and talking to large number of people. I even did not take classes in college that had presentations to them because I’d convinced myself that I just wasn’t capable.
Eventually, though, I had to face that belief head-on. I had to reframe my story: I wasn’t bad at speaking and presenting, I’d just had a tough moment as a kid. As soon as I started questioning that story, my perspective shifted, and I was able to handle things like pitching, giving speeches and lectures at university and in the business world with confidence.
This process of identifying and re-authoring core stories is something Uoma will help users do. It guides you through reflecting on the stories you’ve carried and offers a framework for challenging and changing them. We're excited to share this with a small group of beta users soon.
We hear a lot about “limiting beliefs”—those sneaky, self-imposed barriers like “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll never be successful,” or “I’m unlovable.” But what’s less talked about is why these beliefs are so hard to shake. It’s because they’re rooted in our core stories—deeper narratives we’ve internalized about who we are and what we’re capable of.
Take relationships, for instance. Maybe you’ve had a rough breakup or two, and now you tell yourself, “I’m not cut out for love.” But is it the breakup that’s the problem? Or is it the story you’ve created around that event? Most likely, it’s the latter.
When you start seeing these limiting beliefs as part of a larger story, you can start questioning whether that story is still relevant—or even true.
So how do you actually go about rewriting the stories that are holding you back? Here’s a simple exercise to get started:
Ask yourself, “I can’t [insert goal here] because…” Then fill in the blank. For example:
By finishing this sentence, you’ll start uncovering the core stories you’ve been carrying. These are the hidden beliefs that have been driving your actions, whether you’re aware of them or not.
We’re excited to help people move beyond their limiting beliefs in our beta version, which will be available to a select few soon.
Here’s the thing: Changing your story doesn’t mean denying your experiences or pretending everything is fine. It’s about reframing the meaning of those experiences. Psychologist Viktor Frankl, in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, wrote about how people survived even the most unimaginable traumas by finding meaning in their suffering. They rewrote the story of their lives from one of victimhood to one of resilience and growth.
This idea of reframing your story is central to Uoma. The app is designed to help users take challenging experiences and turn them into sources of strength. We focus on guiding people through the process of transforming a “contamination story” (where one bad event seems to ruin everything) into a “redemption story” (where that same event becomes a turning point for growth).
Want to start living a redemption story? It begins with reflecting on the stories you’ve been telling yourself, challenging the beliefs that no longer serve you, and rewriting the narrative from a place of strength.
Remember, it’s not the thing—it’s the thing behind the thing. The stories you tell yourself shape your entire life. But by identifying your core stories, questioning their truth, and rewriting them, you can create a life that’s aligned with who you really want to be.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into this work, keep an eye out for the beta launch of Uoma. We’re excited to offer an exclusive group the chance to experience this transformative process firsthand.
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