How Narrative Therapy Can Help Boost Kids’ Social and Emotional Skills

We’ve all seen how kids struggle to navigate their emotions, especially when dealing with conflict. Whether it’s a playground dispute over who gets the last swing or trying to make sense of hurtful words from a friend, these experiences can be overwhelming for children. As parents, educators, and therapists, we want to give kids the tools they need to manage their emotions, make good decisions, and build strong, healthy relationships. One powerful tool in the therapeutic toolkit is narrative therapy—and recent research is showing how it can help children boost their social and emotional skills.

What is Narrative Therapy?

Narrative therapy is a therapeutic approach developed by Michael White and David Epston that focuses on helping people view their problems as separate from their identity. By helping clients “externalise” the problem, narrative therapy enables them to reframe how they see the situation, which opens up new possibilities for dealing with it. Essentially, it’s about looking at the stories we tell ourselves about our lives, and re-authoring those stories in a way that empowers us. Here is more on narrative therapy.

For kids, this approach can be especially transformative. Children are natural storytellers—they make sense of the world through stories, whether it’s sharing an adventure from school or imagining what it would be like to be a superhero. Narrative therapy taps into this inherent skill, allowing kids to explore their challenges and come up with creative solutions.

Why Social and Emotional Skills Matter

Before we dive into the details of the research, it’s worth highlighting why social and emotional skills are so important, especially for children aged 8 to 10. At this stage, kids are developing a greater sense of independence, starting to form more complex relationships, and navigating an increasing number of social situations. These experiences lay the groundwork for skills they’ll need throughout life, like:

• Self-awareness: Understanding their emotions, strengths, and weaknesses.
• Self-management: Learning how to regulate emotions and behaviours.
• Social awareness: Developing empathy and understanding social cues.
• Relationship skills: Building and maintaining healthy relationships.
• Responsible decision-making: Learning to make thoughtful and informed choices.

However, many children struggle with these skills, especially when faced with conflict. That’s where narrative therapy comes in.

The Research: How Narrative Therapy Boosts Emotional Growth

A recent study that examined the effects of narrative therapy on 353 children, aged 8 to 10, sheds light on how this approach can significantly improve children’s social and emotional development. Over the course of two years, researchers collected and analysed 813 stories from children who participated in narrative therapy sessions. These stories, which detailed how the children navigated conflict in their daily lives, were compared with stories from children in a control group who didn’t receive narrative therapy.

The results were striking. Children who participated in narrative therapy showed substantial improvements in:

• Self-awareness
• Self-management
• Social awareness
• Empathy
• Responsible decision-making

In fact, when comparing their stories before and after the therapy sessions, the researchers found that these children were much more likely to describe themselves in ways that reflected better emotional regulation and problem-solving skills. Even more impressive, these improvements weren’t just fleeting; they lasted throughout the study’s two-year period.

Self-awareness and Self-management: Learning to Handle Emotions

One of the most immediate changes seen in children who participated in narrative therapy was their ability to become more self-aware. Prior to therapy, many children struggled to articulate how they felt during moments of conflict, often expressing their emotions as overwhelming and uncontrollable.

After therapy, children were better able to reflect on their emotions and the choices they made in response to those feelings. They described using strategies like calming down or reframing their thoughts.

This shift in self-awareness translated into better self-management. By recognising their emotions, children were better equipped to manage them. One of the techniques frequently used in narrative therapy—externalising the problem—helped children view their anger or frustration as something they could manage, rather than something that controlled them. Children were encouraged to describe their emotions as something they could choose to act on or control.

Social Awareness and Empathy: Seeing from Another Perspective

Another significant benefit of narrative therapy is its ability to foster empathy. Children, especially those in the early stages of emotional development, often struggle to understand another person’s perspective. In narrative therapy, children were encouraged to think about how others might feel during a conflict.

By the end of the therapy sessions, children were more likely to describe others in empathetic terms, reflecting a deeper understanding of their classmates’ emotions.

Decision-Making and Relationship Skills: Making Smarter Choices

One of the most important social and emotional skills children develop during these years is responsible decision-making. This skill is closely linked to both self-awareness and empathy. When children understand their own emotions and can consider things from another person’s point of view, they are more likely to make thoughtful, responsible decisions.

In the study, children who received narrative therapy were more likely to describe making proactive choices when faced with conflict. For example, a child might reflect on a time they chose to compromise with a friend after considering how their actions would impact the relationship.

Interestingly, improvements in relationship skills were observed in both the therapy and control groups, but they were significantly greater for children in the narrative therapy group by the end of the study.

Practical Ways to Use Narrative Therapy with Children

If you’re a parent, teacher, or therapist looking to introduce narrative therapy into a child’s life, here are a few simple ways to get started:

• Encourage Storytelling: Ask the child to tell a story about a recent conflict or emotional experience. Focus on listening without judgement.
• Externalise the Problem: Help the child see the problem as something separate from themselves. Discuss how they managed or could manage the problem.
• Reframe the Story: Ask the child to consider the perspective of others involved in the conflict. What might they have been feeling?
• Identify Positive Outcomes: After a conflict, talk with the child about what went well or what they learned from the situation. This helps them build self-awareness and reinforces positive behaviour.

Conclusion: Why Narrative Therapy Matters

Narrative therapy offers children a powerful way to develop the social and emotional skills they need to thrive. By helping children reflect on their own experiences, recognise their emotions, and make thoughtful choices, narrative therapy empowers them to become more self-aware, empathetic, and capable of making responsible decisions. For parents, educators, and therapists, these are invaluable tools that can foster emotional growth and set children up for success both in school and in life.

Reference:

https://doi.org/10.1521/jsyt.2016.35.3.42

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